This blog is a long time coming! I have been faffing! Or have I just been hormonal?!
I am 42 in a couple of weeks, I am not menopausal – very much menstrual thank you very much- but my eggs are tired! My uterus has done its job – thank you very much womb! I don’t intend to have any more children but everything is still working ( I assume). However, I am hormonal! It doesn’t have a name, except perimenopausal. What a load of crock! I feel that is a fobbed off word to be honest! This time of my life is an unaccepted part of the ladies cycle. Tweenies could behave like little so and so’s because they were prepuberty. Teenagers could be stroppy bitches because their periods were settling down. Then we could all suffer from premenstrual tension, that was allowed. Just three words, “I am premenstrual” and that knowing, “Ohhhhh, ok” was all that was needed to feel acceptable. Menopause! Clothes are stripped off, fans come out, beds are changed regularly as night sweats become the norm. Itchy dry skin, all accepted in the world of the hormone cycle. In fact menopausal ladies are treated with the utmost respect and admiration. They are, after all, the Queens of the hormone cycle. They can behave as badly as they want and it is totally acceptable! You go girl! BUT! What about now? What about us 40 somethings? We are going through puberty for the menopause but it is NOT acceptable to lose our temper or sob in the middle of Sainsbury’s! I know! I have tried it! We cannot stomp upstairs and slam our bedroom doors, we have no puff left for a start after stomping up the stairs to give the door a satisfactory slam. Our mood swings are just not accepted in society and makes us come across as nasty people. We may feel like being nasty but we can’t show that. We have various and unexplained aches and pains, extremely painful boil like pustular spots that you can’t squeeze! (love the word pustular), we grizzle at totally inappropriate times. we forget EVERYTHING. Not just the usual, walking into the kitchen and forgetting what you had gone in for, oh! But there is the fridge! Will just check to see if there are any tasty morsels that were not there 10 minutes ago. No! I mean words;
Me: Ro, you have an appointment at….. oooohhhhh…… you know
Ro: Doctors? School?
Me: Noooo! You know… that place you were born at. Where they do operations?
Ro: Hospital Mother… THE HOSPITAL
Me: Yes, that place
Me: Oli please can you empty that thing, you know, that thing there? With things in it? Clean things.
Oli: Yeesssss, I will empty the dishwasher.
It goes on and on and on. I have no recollection of words but eventually it comes back to me. Sometimes, I just say, “oh forget it” and I LITERALLY stop talking!
I can get in the car, and off I toddle. I get to Grange Farm roundabout and just think, “shit” Which way? Where am I going?”
Names are obviously the worst. I used to be fabulous with names, up until just a couple of years ago I could have told you everyone’s full names from my Primary School. Not now! It went over night! I think everyone can be bad at names. Mum just goes through all the names of her Children until she gets to the right one and always has done. There are four of us and now, 7 Grandchildren, it can take a while! My son Oliver is regularly called Alex (my Brother), Tim (my Brother) Chris (my Husband) you (him) or Darling. I am quite good with my Daughter Rosie but she does occasionally get called Sarah (my Sister). Thankfully, I do get my Husband’s name right on most occasions! Most of the time I call everyone Darling! That is easier. I don’t mean to be offensive or overly familiar, it is just bloody easier.
Our brain is often panicked! Questioning!Terrified! Muddled! Stressed! Paranoid!
So this transient stage in a Woman’s life is hard work for the whole family, Partners and Children. I am not going to go on and on how grateful we are to these family members because I can’t be arsed. Am to busy thinking about their tea. So they can JUST BLOODY DEAL WITH IT!
I will be honest and I would just like to put it out there that I don’t need advice thank you very much on how to deal with this stage of a Woman’s life. I am just putting my thoughts out there. In the same way that when I chat with friends, it is non judgmental, non opinionated etc. I don’t want to appear rude but this is just a blog, a time in life that so many friends are going through. It is ok to go through this period and perfectly natural. We are not getting early on set Alzheimer’s, we are not having a nervous breakdown, well we might be in some ways but this is normal. I am just writing down what a lot of women are feeling in this stage of their lives and we shouldn’t fight it. In fact, we should embrace it, we need to go through it so we can learn from it. It is nature’s way! I choose to see a Naturopath Therapist and other Holistic Therapists for treatments but more importantly I choose to see friends and family who deal with all my needs. As a hormonal woman it is NOT advisable to be TELLING me what I SHOULD or SHOULDN’T be doing. It will make me a little bit cross. Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!
As I have said before I am lucky that I get to have regular Holistic treatments, in fact I will ask a fellow Therapist who is doing my Reflexology in a couple of weeks to make me up one of her flower remedy potions. Reflexology is a fabulous way to balance hormones as is Reiki. I am also lucky that most Sundays I get to roam the beautiful Suffolk Country side with wonderful Girlfriends who are of a similar age! We walk, jog, wet ourselves laughing, stop to take in the Suffolk air, cry, listen and talk for at LEAST AN HOUR every week. Every single person, not just women, should do this. If you haven’t got time then you need to do it for at LEAST 2 HOURS minimum a week.
I am seriously thinking about setting up a Mindfulness walking group, nothing formal. There are some people who perhaps don’t get the chance to walk and talk. It could involve the whole family. A three mile jaunt, walking SLOWLY, looking at what is going on around us, breathing in the Suffolk air, zipping up the raincoats when its piddling down. Nothing wrong with a bit of rain. Socialising with other walkers, learn to listen in a non judgmental way, open up about your fears. No egos, just walking, talking listening and breathing. Just an idea!
Anyway! Finally! I am also doing a course which is really just for me, it will obviously benefit my Clients and family as well. Its a fabulous course and I am really enjoying it, learning and practising as often as I can. It’s called……. oh you know….. that Course I am doing…… the one where I learn different strategies and Meditation. Oh for goodness sake, you know, that one…. begins with M. MINDFULNESS! That one!